


My Boss

by Liteangirl



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Ianto Jones - Freeform, Ianto Jones/Jack Harkness - Freeform, Lisa Hallett - Freeform, M/M, Owen Harper - Freeform, POV Ianto Jones, Series 1, Series 2, Spoilers for episode: Cyberwoman, Spoilers for episode: Fragments, Torchwood - Freeform, Toshiko Sato - Freeform, gwen cooper - Freeform, jack harkness - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 03:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3193583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liteangirl/pseuds/Liteangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after "Cyberwoman"</p><p>Ianto Jones returns to Torchwood after his three weeks suspension and must face the team and his boss after he has risked their lives by hiding Lisa in the cellar of the hub. Jack has new plans for Ianto's further participation of the team.<br/>But is Ianto emotionally ready for this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Boss

**Author's Note:**

> A story requested by my sweet friend Leah whose heart I broke with another Janto fic.  
> First part out of three. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to Russel T. Davies and the BBC and so many other brilliant people who created this show.

“CRASH!”

He gulped looking at the broken pieces of porcelain cups scattered around him and the freshly made coffee he had just spent twenty minutes grinding by hand was now splashed all over the dirty floor. Ianto could do nothing but sigh.

“Ianto!” the roar reached him as he was about to clean up his mess. He looked startled towards the sound. Dressed in a light blue shirt and red suspenders; Jack rested his arms on the railing watching the young man with an angry expression.

“Please come see me in my office” he said in a stern voice.

Ianto didn’t even have time to nod before the captain disappeared into his office again and shutting the door.  
He felt a hard punch to his arm and looked into a grinning face.

“Someone’s going to see the headmaster, huh?” Owen put his arm around Ianto with a smirk, “did you do your homework bad boy?”

“Shut up!” Ianto hissed turning his angry face to the doctor.

“Ey, I’m just teasing” Owen tried, but was cut off by Ianto pushing him away.

“Yeah but here’s a thought; don’t” he was not in the mood for Owens tricks.

“You listen here teaboy!” Owen poked him hard in the chest and the brown eyes were not friendly, “you are in no position to talk back. I don’t know why Jack keeps you here - you’re lucky we didn’t retcon your ass and left you in a ditch somewhere; where you could rotten up! What you did was bloody selfish - you were selfish and your death metal girlfriend could have killed every single one of us just because you’re only thinking with one thing! So don’t fucking smart talk me. Got it, teaboy?”.

Ianto flinched at the word “death” and looked away from Owen’s angry face. It had been a week since he had returned from his three weeks suspension. A suspension he had gotten after having secretly hid Lisa. His girlfriend who had become a cyber woman on Canary Wharf. He had hid her in the cellar of the hub for a while hoping he could find some kind of way to reverse the process. When he finally had got the chance; it had been a disaster. Nothing less.

Lisa was the main reason for him seeking out Jack Harkness; leader of the Torchwood Institute in Cardiff. It was not just a coincidence finding him in battle with a weevil and later finally securing the job by helping him catch that pterodactyl. He had planned it for a long time. Torchwood One in London was destroyed and he had to find another place for Lisa. The original plan was to bring her back and then he would leave Torchwood; living happy ever after with Lisa and never looking back. But it had taken more time that he had expected and soon he started to like the team. He kept himself mainly in the background but that didn’t stop him from enjoying the mood and laughing at the jokes though he only was the teaboy. When Jack had started to joke about him looking good in a suit and making him a part of the conversations he had felt a glimpse of happiness and belonging for the first time in almost two years. Maybe that was why he had accepted Jack’s punishment and agreeing to come back to Torchwood. Although Owen did make him reconsider his decision. Ever since he had returned from his suspension Owen had been nothing but a jerk to him. He had totally abused Ianto’s guilt and had him running errands all week. Every time Ianto had expressed just a slight opinion of refusal the doctor had reminded him of the disaster that was all his fault.

Ianto considered obeying but he wouldn’t take it. No matter what he had done, he wouldn’t be the target of Owens tricks anymore. He made a decision and turned to Owen’s smug face.

“Fuck off!” he said right to his face and didn’t wait for a reaction before going up the stairs to see his boss.

“I hope you get the cane!” Owen yelled behind him and walked away mumbling angry words.

Ianto clenched his fists. He really hoped Jack hadn’t heard that comment. Hesitating to open the door Ianto found himself standing outside the office for quite a while. He hadn’t really talked to Jack since that day. When he returned last Monday, his boss had only given him a slight nod. They barely had eye contact.

He gulped once before knocking and entering the office. Jack was seated at his desk and was scribbling away in an official Torchwood book which contained information about various aliens visiting earth since the year 2000. He didn’t look up until Ianto not convincingly cleared his throat. The icy blue eyes looked straight at him and Ianto felt like he could throw up. The captain said nothing as he pointed to the chair in front of the desk and Ianto quickly sat down. Jack reached into a drawer, took out a folder filled with papers, and threw it on the desk with a loud bump. Ianto jumped in his place by the sound and caught Jack staring at him.

“Did I scare you?” he said sternly as if it had been his intention.

“No sir“ Ianto answered looking away.

Jack went through the pages until he found what he was looking for and took one out and laid it before Ianto. It was an official Torchwood document for disciplinary action.

“I need your signature” Jack said without looking at him, “read it through and make sure you agree before signing”.

Ianto looked up hoping for a glimpse of recognition from his boss but Jack just kept looking to another matter in a notebook; in which he checked of every sentence with a sharp “X”.

Yeah, Jack was still mad at him.

Ianto read the document through. Jack had already filled out all the spaces in that neat cursive writing. No one today wrote like that.

The document explained his punishment as formal as possible. There was no background story. No feelings. Nothing.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Torchwood Institute, 3  
Cardiff, United Kingdom

Disciplinary Matter of:  
Torchwood Member; Ianto Jones

Form of disciplinary action:  
Three weeks suspension from Torchwood 3 without pay

Reason for disciplinary action:  
Misuse of Torchwood property and disobeying of orders given by leader of Torchwood Institute Cardiff; Captain Jack Harkness

I acknowledge that I have read and understand the above information and consequences

Employee signature:

Supervisor Signature:  
Captain Jack Harkness

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ianto looked up again and kept his stare until he finally caught the captain’s. The icy blue eyes were cold but their eyes met this time.

“Is there something wrong?” Jack said showing more irritation than consideration.

“The reason” Ianto almost couldn’t say it, “I’m sorry sir but you didn’t write” he had to swallow once, “... about Lisa”.

Jack sighed. He closed the book and looked at Ianto with a judgmental look.

“How would you think UNIT would react if I’d written the entire ordeal with you hiding a cyberwoman I the cellar of the hub? Not to talk about putting us and everybody else in Cardiff - no! England in danger!”

“I’m sorry, I just - “Ianto closed his mouth not sure how to say it.

“Listen” Jack was quicker than he was, “You did a thing. You have been punished for that thing and now it’s time to go back to work. I need to know that you are ready to take on the responsibility of Torchwood again and that your entire loyalty lies with us. Or else we could just take out the termination documents right away”.

Ianto gulped as Jack stood up. Normally he was a tall man but now he just looked like a giant, towering over the young man in the chair.

“Are you a loyal member of Torchwood?” Jack asked sternly giving Ianto the best expression of a boss.

“I am” Ianto tried to sound as respectful as he could, “I am, sir”.

“Good! From now on, we’ll work on you becoming an essential member of Torchwood. You are not just the teaboy anymore, is that clear? You are to accompany us on our missions. You’ll never be left alone back in the hub and you’ll go through the exact same thing, encounters and days as all of us do. And you will never be able to risk the lives of your team again. Am I making myself clear?!”

Ianto nodded. He felt like a schoolboy being scolded. How he hated Jack Harkness. Everybody thought he was this great hero but Ianto knew. He knew he was cold as ice. 

“Right!” Jack sat down again, “then please sign the document for your punishment and we’ll never speak of it again”.

Ianto signed his name and Jack took the paper back; reading it through quickly before putting it into the folder again and putting that away in the drawer. He rested his arms on the desk and looked at Ianto who clearly felt uncomfortable.

“That’s all” he said; his voice back to the stern tone.

Ianto stood up having no idea what to say and quickly made his way to the door.

“Oh Ianto!”.

Ianto turned around. Jack smirked and his eyes were sparkling now.

“Sir?” Ianto said rather confused on why the captain suddenly had turned his mood around.

“If you break more mugs I’ll start taking it out of your pay”.

“Yes sir”.

 

The next couple of days it seemed as Jack was back to his self and did everything he could to include Ianto in the group dimension. Every time he had a conversation and Ianto was in view he would call out to him and ask for his opinion on the matter. Ianto always very politely explained he didn’t care for the subject and left the moment he could. Sometimes Jack would insist on him staying there by asking him several questions but Ianto’s slight enthusiasm was always over shined by another member’s very clearly passionate opinion. Jack started complimenting him on his suits again and Ianto just smiled politely. He didn’t care for it anymore.

The captain kept his promise in all aspects and Ianto was part of every team meeting in the conference room. He had awkwardly positioned himself up against the wall as Jack briefed their next case during the first one and Owen made a comment about there not being any coffee. Gwen hissed at him telling him to “go get it fucking yourself”.

“Darling I would if I could!” Owen smirked back and pointed to Ianto, “but teaboy here is the only one who is able to make a decent cup - and besides; he’s already standing up!”.

“Owen!” Jack warned.

“What? I’m merely pointing out the obvious. Come on! I can’t really see why teaboy wouldn’t do something nice for his team. Do you guys?”.

“Owen!” Jack warned again.

“It’s fine” Ianto smiled politely, “he’s right. I’ll go get the coffee. You can just start without me. I am the teaboy” he left the room quickly and felt relieved as he reached the coffee machine. He took his time making the coffee and he didn’t care for returning to the others. He really wasn’t part of that team. He never was. 

When he entered the conference room again everybody was looking at him and he felt uncomfortable. He quickly put the tray of mugs on the table and went for the wall again but Gwen pulled out a chair just in his way, “come sit here, Ianto. Please”. She smiled that big smile of hers and Ianto took a seat next to her.

“Thank you” he said.

“Hold on” Tosh who sat opposite him gave him a confused look, “where is your coffee, Ianto?”.

“Oh” Ianto hadn’t even thought about bringing himself a cup, “I’m not in the mood for coffee” he brushed it off with a fake smile and after a long pause of silence, Jack went on with the case.

 

The rift had been inactive for a while. Ianto didn’t mind. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to going on a mission with the team but about one week later, he couldn’t avoid it any longer.

He was sat at a table going through some lists of all the weapons of Torchwood which functions had to be documented; Jack was in his office working on some official papers he had postponed for a quite a while; Owen was in his autopsy room experimenting on a dead alien bacteria they had found three days ago; Tosh was at her computer monitoring the rift, and Gwen lay in the sofa reading a file about a missing person from the 1970s.

“There’s activity!” Tosh yelled out.

Jack appeared from his office and ran to her side, “what is it?” he asked moving his eyes all over the screen.

“Is it a weevil?” Gwen shouted running from the sofa.

“It is! It’s going northwest” Tosh said.

“We’re on it!” Owen yelled throwing his white coat away and grabbing a metal suitcase containing the weapons for rift activity action.

Ianto stood ready with Jack’s coat and Jack quickly put his arms in the sleeves and with one yank, he was wearing it, “Tosh! You stay and keep monitoring its track! Gwen, Owen, Ianto; you guys with me!”.

“What?” Ianto gasped.

“There’s no time! With me. NOW!” Jack yelled and the four of them ran to the car.

“Which way Tosh?” Jack said as he turned around a corner and down the main road in the night of Cardiff. Gwen sat next to him while Owen and Ianto sat on the back seat.

Owen opened the suitcase and handed everybody a gun. Ianto felt sick; last time he had held a gun was the day Lisa had awoken and died. He had pointed it towards Jack and Jack had pointed it towards him.

“Do you see it!?” Jack almost shouted and went silent for a moment as Tosh answered him on the other line of the headset. His eyes darted from side to side, “got it!” he suddenly yelled and turned sharply around a corner; resulting in everybody falling to one side.

“Ey! Move it teaboy!” Owen spat when Ianto fell into him.

“SHUT UP YOU TWO!” Jack yelled, “LOOK!”.

Right there in front of the vehicle was the weevil. It was running fast and kept looking back a few times. It growled at them; blood coming from its mouth.

“Did it attack anybody?” Gwen asked her eyes bigger than normally.

“I’ll handle this!” Owen said and leaned outside the window and started shooting at the creature.

“What are you doing?!” Gwen yelled trying to reach back to him.

“For Christ sake! Darling it has blood from its mouth! It has killed!” Owen shouted back.

“Don’t fucking call me darling” Gwen spat, “don -”.

“Stop it you two!” Jack ordered, “I swear sometimes - FUCK!”.

The car stopped abruptly in front of a container yard. They all went outside in the darkness.

“Do you see it?” Jack said, “You’re fucking kidding me!” he yelled out punching air and gritting teeth.

“Tosh can’t get signal for some reason! So now we split up and continue on foot. This weevil needs to be found before it does any more damage! Gwen and Ianto; you go! Owen - with me! It’s the only pairing I don’t see someone ending up killing one another!” he yelled pointing at Owen and Gwen.

“Jack!” Gwen said, “I have the anti-spray -can we please try to not kill it!”.

“Listen! If you find it first then you do what you want to! If I find it I’ll kill it! I’m not in mood to anything now!” Jack said with raging eyes, “GET TO WORK!”.

Jack and Owen ran off and Ianto followed Gwen in through the long rows of containers. They both had a flashlight and their gun up in front of them. They walked in silence for a while. Suddenly Ianto spotted the weevil running in between two containers.

“Come one!” Gwen yelled and they ran after it; unfortunately quickly losing its track.

“Yeah, I’m not doing this!” she said, It’ll be easier if we split up. You go that way and I’ll go back round there. Call out if you see it - and remember!” Gwen looked at Ianto with soft eyes, “please don’t kill it”.

Ianto nodded and they each went their own way. Ianto walked down a long row of blue containers; for every corner he turned, he held up the flashlight and the gun. There was nothing there.

Suddenly he heard a scream. It was Gwen!

His heart raced as he followed the screaming and reached a spot between four containers. Gwen was on the ground with the growling weevil on top of her; its face and open mouth just millimetres from her pain wrecked face. Her arms were pushing on its shoulders to keep the head back but she wasn’t strong and would soon lose the battle.

“Help me Ianto!” she begged, “shoot it! Shoot! SHOOT!”.

Ianto raised his gun and pointed it at the weevil. He stood in a perfect angle and would have no problem shooting it from here without hitting Gwen. He just had to pull the trigger. He couldn’t.  
He remembered last time he had raised a gun. How he had pointed it at Jack and how he was supposed to point it at her and kill her. He felt nauseous and froze on the spot. Gwen’s desperate screaming died out in the background and he felt himself forgetting time and place.

“BANG! BANG! BANG!”

The sound pulled him back to reality and he looked towards it. Jack stood pointing the smoking pistol at the weevil; his big coat flowing in the wind. Gwen screamed as the dead creature fell over her and she quickly kicked it out of the way; crying into Owen’s chest, who was by her side right away.

“What the fuck teaboy!” he yelled!

The drive back to the hub was silent; only the motor and Gwen’s crying proved there was life in the vehicle.  
Tosh ran to Gwen right away and Owen looked over her injuries. Fortunately, nothing much had happened to her. She was still a little shocked and the weevil had succeeded biting her arm when she tried to pushing it back. Ianto stood by the side watching and feeling bad about Gwen. He couldn’t believe he really had done that.

Finally, Jack ordered them all to go home and especially Gwen to go home and rest. Owen gave her a couple of painkillers and they left the hub together with Tosh. Ianto was about to pack his things when Jack poked him on the shoulder, “come with me” he ordered and Ianto followed his boss.

They went down the cellar and into the shooting room. Ianto gulped as he wondered what Jack had planned for him.

Jack slammed the door after them; scaring Ianto who jumped on the spot and covered his head.  
The shooting room had a firing range several target boards in a row and in front of them was a table with several handguns and pistols laid on display and ready for use.  
Ianto didn’t see him coming and flinched when Jack suddenly stood in his face.

“I’m beginning to think I’ve made a mistake!” he roared, “What happened out there? Why didn’t you shoot?!”.

“I - I - I don’t know s -” Ianto stammered; frightened by Jacks towering demeanour and angry eyes.

“Do you want to be a part of this team?!”.

“Yes s - “.

“Then what do you do if you have a chance to shoot and save the life of your team member?!”.

“I - I - “.

“WHAT DO YOU DO?!”.

“I SHOOT! … Sir”.

“So you know the rules; you just don’t obey them? Well, I’ll fix that! I’ll teach to obey and SHOOT WHEN YOU’RE ORDERED TO” Jack took a firm grab of his arm and pulled him to the table.

“Pick up the G41!” he ordered

Ianto calmed his breath slowly.  
He was still in shock by Jack’s sudden outburst.

He had no idea which one he was referring to. He thought for a while and went for a small black pistol. The captain cleared his throat loudly. It wasn’t that one. Ianto thought again and went for another bigger one. Another grunt. Nor was it this one. He looked back to the captain who stood calmly and waited on him. He didn’t look angry anymore. Ianto started sweating. He had no idea what to do and he definitely didn’t dare to ask for help. Jack always seemed to be good at everything and Ianto felt like a complete loser standing here. He turned his attention to a rather thick one on his right and slowly picked it up; not hearing a sound, he looked over the shoulder. Jack had crossed his arms; standing rank as a captain and raising his chin enough that you could see his jawline. There was a respected calm around him. No wonder he was the captain. Ianto found the icy blue eyes and Jack gave a small nod. This was the right weapon.

“Take aim at number five. Shoot as close to the centre as you can and remember to secure it first!” the captain ordered. 

Ianto felt his heart skip a beat as he after several attempts secured the gun and raised it towards the goal. His arms shook and the sweat ran down his forehead. The suit felt tighter than normal and the tie tightened around his neck. The warm didn’t leave his body and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Stand straight!”.

He almost fired by shock when Jack yelled out.

“Ianto, listen to me” his voice was softer now, “stand up straight and keep your feet firmly on the ground. Do not slouch”.

“Yes sir” Ianto answered not even hearing his own words for the pumping blood in his head. He stood up straight, raised his arms and pulled the trigger. It was harder than he had expected. He pressed a few times before it went off and it gave him such a scare he moved back two steps and almost dropped the gun onto the floor. Realizing he had held his breath he breathed out deeply and slowly turned to Jack. He hadn’t moved an inch; not faced by Ianto’s reaction he sighed.

“I told you to keep your feet firmly on the ground!”.

“Yes sir” Ianto looked to the floor embarrassed by his performance.

“Try again! And this time do as I tell you. It’s not just for fun, Ianto!” Jack said sternly.

“Yes sir” it was only a response. Ianto hadn’t even heard what Jack had just told him.

He tried to calm himself and stood straight pointing the gun at the target. This time he pressed harder and the gun went off right away. The bullet hit the wall not even near the target board and he heard the captain sighing loudly.

“Try again” this time there was no life in his voice. Jack had given up on him as Ianto had on himself.

Again, the bullet didn’t even hit the target board and Jack took in one deep breath, “again” he ordered but Ianto didn’t react. He wouldn’t do it. He couldn’t. The look of a gun still made him feel ill but Jack didn’t care about that. Off course he didn’t.

“Ianto! Again I t- “.

“WHY ARE YOU TEACHING ME THIS?!” Ianto yelled out against his boss

Jack watched him for a moment before walking determinant towards him; taking the gun out of his grip and placing it back on the table. Then he turned back to Ianto.

“Take off your jacket”.

“I’m sorry?” Ianto couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Take of your jacket” Jack repeated himself and didn’t flinch.

“What? No I will not take of my jacket!” Ianto folded his arms around his waist and stepped two steps back.

Jack kept eye contact with him and followed him until he stood right in front of him; towering over him with a piercing glance. He opened his mouth again.

“If you keep disobeying me like this I’ll have to get the cane from my office”.

Ianto flustered and his mouth fell open. His heart started racing.

When he looked at the captain again; Jack was losing his battle and the angry expression turned into a bright smile. He stepped back; his arms holding onto his stomach and roaring a laughter that filled the entire shooting room. He laughed for a bit before looking back at Ianto and brushed of the laugh as he realized the young man didn’t care much for the joke.

“I’m sorry” he said composing himself, “I couldn’t help myself. I heard you and Owen bickering”.

He stepped closer to Ianto and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Ianto flinched at the move and Jack pulled the hand back; rather hurt by his reaction.

“You two have really had your quarrels these past two weeks, huh?”

“He pisses me off!” Ianto burst out forgetting whom he was talking to and then quickly remembered, “Sir” he added looking to the floor.

“I’ll have a talk with him”.

“No please. That’s not necessary sir”.

“Yes it is. He shouldn’t treat you like that. It’s important we all have each other's back. If he ended up doing something; I’m sure he would want us and you to support him - and knowing Owen Harper, I’m sure there’ll be a time when he’ll need it”.

Ianto nodded. He didn’t want to argue with the captain, “Yes sir” he said quietly.

Jack sighed, “That’s the only thing I’ve heard you say this last week”.

“Yes sir. I’m sorry sir”.

Jack shook his head frustrated; hands on his hip looking away with gritted teeth thinking something over. Then he looked straight at Ianto.

“Tell me the truth!”.

“The truth, sir?”

“Yes! Listen - we’ve already been over this. Ianto, you did a thing and you have already been punished for it. None of us hold any grudges against you. I’m working on you becoming an essential part of our team. You are not just the teaboy! This is a new beginning. Your new beginning and frankly - I feel like you are keeping something from me. I will not tolerate any more secrets, Ianto Jones! Is that clear?!”

Jack held up a constructive finger and Ianto hadn’t noticed how he’d slowly moved away from the captain.

“Yes sir”.

“I have forgiven you, Ianto! I have forgiven you for what you did to me - to Torchwood - to your friends! Have you not forgiven me? Why do you not look at me the way you did before?” Jack shouted; spitting every word of pure frustration, “what was I to you before?”.

Ianto didn’t look away. He kept staring into Jack’s eyes. He wasn’t even scared anymore. He was angry.

“You were my boss”.

“And what am I now?!”.

“You are my boss”.

Jack almost growled, “I told you- no more secrets! Tell me the truth! What. Am. I. To. You. Now?”.

Ianto felt the rage in his body; flowing through him like fire and made him shake. He looked to the captain and spoke in cold words.

“You are the man who ordered me to kill the love of my life”.

Jack lost his respected demeanour. He dropped his arms to his side and gasped, open mouthed. He looked truly shocked. 

Ianto gazed at the floor. The anger slowly left his body and suddenly he felt more relieved than he had been in weeks. He looked up when he heard footsteps and saw the captain coming towards him. He had expected an angry reaction; some form of harsh words that would end his time in Torchwood, but Jack was nearing in on him now. Ianto felt sick. Now the captain had really had it with him. Who wouldn’t? He was ready to take the beating and he wouldn’t even begin to defend himself. Jack was much stronger than he was. That was no secret. He closed his eyes and braced himself.

Ianto felt a touch to his chin. It was not a hard touch; it was soft. Jack’s finger slowly turned his face upwards towards his. The icy blue eyes were filled with compassion.

“Ianto” he said and Ianto started tearing up; his face still in the hands of Jack, “I am really sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to understand what you went through and what you are going through now but I want you to know; that’ll do my very best to help you back on your feet. I promise”.

He moved his hands and stepped a few steps back from the now crying man.

“I acted as your boss. As the leader of Torchwood - and for that I will never apologize. But as a man and your friend - I would take it back in an instant if I ever could”.

Ianto turned around; hiding his face in his hands as he cried.

Jack could only see the trembling shoulders and did not approach him. He wiped his own wet cheeks and waited patiently.

Ianto felt like his body was turned inside out and he almost made himself ill crying harder than he had ever done in his entire life. He couldn’t believe what Jack had said. All this time he had hated him. He had killed Lisa. The love of his life. He was sure that Jack hated him too and felt no remorse for doing it. It had just been his duty as leader of Torchwood, but how come he had sat at home for three weeks not eating anything, not doing anything, not crying any tears. And now it all poured out of him, and why? What had changed? Why was Jack the one who had gotten it all out of him?

They never realized how long they stood like that. Ianto kept crying and every time he had wiped his tears away; they returned in even bigger waves. He lost count of how many times he was about to turn around and regretted it and kept wiping his face again and again. He would never be ready to face Jack. He shook a while after the last tear had rolled down his chin and onto the puddle already lying on the floor. He turned around.

Their eyes met and no one spoke a word. Jack understood what Ianto needed and nodded one time. Just as he had done the day Ianto had returned from his suspension; only this time they both understood each other.

“Please trust me again, Ianto. Trust me”.

Ianto felt his body calm down and for some reason he felt lighter. Like a huge burden had lifted from his shoulders. A feeling rushed through him. A feeling he hadn’t felt in a long time; a feeling of life.

Ianto was the first one who took a step. There were no more words to be said.

He took of his jacket and handed it to Jack who placed it on the table next to the guns. Ianto didn’t move as Jack came back to him and started to untie his tie. He pulled it slowly out of the collar and Ianto felt Jack’s warm breath in his ear.

“You need to loosen up” Jack said and put the tie next to the jacket as Ianto stood back in his white shirt.

Jack took a gun and walked to the shooting lane where Ianto had stood earlier.

“I don’t need to loosen up, sir” Ianto said.

“Trust me, Ianto Jones” Jack said staring straight at him, “if there’s anyone on this planet who needs to loosen up; it’s you”.

“I do trust you”.

A moment passed as neither of them broke the eye contact.

Jack finally did. He crooked a finger, “come here”.

Ianto went to him and Jack handed him the gun. He stood behind him and leaning down he put his head on Ianto’s shoulder. Their cheeks touched. Jack helped Ianto straighten out his arms with the gun and let his big hands rest lightly on Ianto’s; his arm longer than his he embraced him. An embrace Ianto needed. An embrace of safety. More safe than he had felt in a long time.

Ianto felt Jack against his back. Their breath was synchronized.

“When you pull the trigger; you have to move with the gun as it shoots” Jack said tearing Ianto away from his thoughts, “You control the gun and decides how and when it moves - not the other way around. Pull the trigger now and if you’re not ready you will move back with your arms and you will hurt me. Do you want to hurt me, Ianto?”.

“No”.

“Pull”.

Ianto breathed deeply. He felt himself becoming part of the gun and the gun of him. He took a firm grip and closed his eyes knowing exactly when it would go off.

He shot and a loud noise appeared. He hadn’t moved but then he felt a flash of pain; Jack had smacked him across the back of his head.

“Did you really just close your eyes while shooting a gun?!” he yelled coming round facing Ianto.

“Were you hurt?” Ianto hadn’t even heard the scolding.

Jack lost his anger, “I wasn't”.

“Good” Ianto breathed out, “can we do it again? I won’t close my eyes this time- I promise”.

Jack looked to the target board, “you almost hit right at centre. Picture what you can do if you actually keep your eyes open”.

“I might hit centre”.

“Exactly” Jack said, “Do not close your eyes for things only because you think you can’t achieve something.

“I won’t”.

Jack stepped behind him again and leaned in as before. This time Ianto kept his eyes open and hit centre. They both gasped. Ianto turned his head to the side meeting Jack’s eyes. He was one big grin, “that’s the stuff!” he laughed.

 

They were there for hours and used up every gun, pistol, magazine and bullet. Ianto stood by himself in the end and hit every spot exactly as Jack ordered; with the captain next to him applauding and laughing loudly.

Jack handed Ianto the jacket as they finished their training. He put it on and threw the tie over his one shoulder.

“It’s a shame” Jack said with a smirk.

“What sir?”

“Though you really look good in a suit - I like it better off”.

“Careful sir”.

“I know”.

For a moment they looked at each other both smiling.

Jack held out his hand, “I’ll see you tomorrow”.

Ianto shook it with a small grin, “good night sir”.

“Goodnight Ianto”.

Jack turned to put away the guns and Ianto left the shooting room to go home. He passed the room where he had hid Lisa. It didn’t even hurt to think about her anymore. Had he even loved her this past time? I had hurt yesterday. What was different from today?

He smiled to himself as he thought about the last hours. He was glad that Jack had said those words and that they had returned to their old relationship before Lisa. He didn't hate him anymore. There was no reason to hate him. Jack had wanted him to see him as before but he didn’t. He probably never would. And it had nothing to with anger or holding a grudge towards him.

He thought about that time they had captured the pterodactyl together. There had been a moment when those icy blue eyes have marked him. He had respected Captain Jack Harkness from that day on.

Now it wasn’t respect. It was something else.


End file.
